Men are from Hell...

A funny thing happened to me on the way to the gynocologist..

I stopped by a coffee shop to kill some time and read the paper... Lo and behold a cute guy sits down on the couch across from me and strikes up a conversation.. The first thing I notice about him is that he is wearing a wedding ring.. I don't jump to any negative conclusions, it is a coffe shop and I don't always assume everyone is trying to get in my pants.. As I am getting ready to leave, he asks if he could get my phone number and take me out for a drink one night.. I asked, ever so politely, if he would be bringing his wife and if I should bring my kids?? He proceeded to tell me that he is in Raleigh for business several times a month and that he lives in Ohio, further, he and his wife have an "understanding" about when he travels as she her sex drive disappeared after the birth of their 4th child.. That he felt a real connection with me and would like to get to know me better.. To this I replied that there was no point in getting to know me better b/c if he did, he'd know just how lucky he was that I was just walking away and not dumping a steaming hot chai tea over his head..

Out of the ordinary?? Nooooo.. Not even close..

Several months back, D and I were having drinks at the pub (as we do) and were approached by several gentlemen.. Again, no harm, no foul, we did the ring check, 2 with, 2 without.. One of the "without"s was passibly cute, he chatted us up and eventually asked for my phone number.. I gave it to him way too early in the night.. By the end of the evening, he was blotto, all charm had evaporated, he got handsy and tried to kiss me twice.. Blech!! After he finally left, I ended up striking up a conversation and hitting it off with a friend of his that came in a bit later than the rest (and was therefore sober).. When I asked the friend to call me, he expressed concern that I had also given my number to his friend.. This did take a bit of backpeddling to explain, but I was honest and said at the beginning of the night, he seemed ok but by the end, he was a jackass.. At this point, he tells me not to sweat it, I probably wouldn't be hearing from him again, anyhow because he was married with 2 kids.. Sweet.. Way to affirm my already non-existent belief in the sanctity of marriage..

So what? Lightning strikes twice? Uhh, more than that, kiddies..

Remember when Halloween, AJ and I met up with 2 handsome gents? I had previously written about how I had met up with Popeye and scared him off by joking around that I was a part time dominatrix (which I think I might be good at, in all reality).. Humorous post-script to that story.. come to find out, Popeye was married as well.. AND he and his wife are swingers.. Nice one.. He get's a bit squemish about the fact that I jokingly told him I spank people for a living but he has no problem passing his wife around like a joint at a frat party? I think "ewwwww" doesn't begin to cover it..

My beloved CB once said I was "flypaper for freaks".. I think we're going to have to ammend that to say "married freaks".. Altho, technically, I seem to attract the weird ones, married or not.. On one hand, I can see the "nothing ventured, nothing gained" attitude from the guy at the coffee shop but the guy from the pub, I just don't get.. He lives here.. What if I had seen him out day at the WalMart with his wife and kids and walked up and said something? "Hey! Gosh, I was wondering if I'd ever see you again after we almost made out that night.. I guess you must have lost my number, right??".. Something tells me that would not have made the little woman happy..

Yep, it may be time to start really weighing my options and seeing if that whole lesbian thing is worth a go or not..