The Baskin Robbins of Friendships

In my various diatribes and ramblings about the people that have an impact on my life, I refer frequently to "friends".. There needs to be some distinction about the various flavors friendship can have and how each and everyone is a delight to the palate of the soul. You don't want to have the same foods over and over, right? And if you never ordered anything but vanilla ice cream from Baskin Robbins, you would be missing out on a plethora of delightful taste bud experiences. As with the fuel for our body, the fuel for our soul requires variety to keep it satisfied.

The Blood Friend: This is a sister, brother, cousin or someone in your actual family that you are close to. This is a person that shares your unique family history in a way that hours of sharing stories about your childhood can't match. This friend knows about your dysfunctional relationship with your mother, that your grandmother is a complete nut and why self medicating with alcohol is a valid response to the holidays. You may have nothing else in common, other than the blood that runs through your veins, but you know that they will always be there for you because they are family.

The Childhood Friend: These are the people you keep up with from high school or earlier. These are the friends that knew you and loved you through the days of 80's hair and firsts; first kisses, first proms, first loves. They are the ones who remind you of who you are deep down and don't let you get too full of your own life's successes. They may no longer be in your life day to day, but you know that they'll be there to celebrate your major accomplishments and support you through your major failures.

The Soul Mate Friend: This is the person you call first and foremost whenever anything goes right or wrong in your life. You may have known them all your life or only for a couple months but this is the kind of friendship that was deep and abiding 20 minutes after you met. This person is the one you know you can call at 3:00am when your world falls apart. They are also the person you can call at 3:00am just to chat. You share similar hobbies and tastes and can kill a case of beer or a gallon of wine just dishing the dirt together and never even notice the time passing. This friend is one of those traveling buddies you know you can go on trips with and they won't make you nuts. You don't have to talk every day but you do begin to experience withdrawal symptoms after a week.

The Party Friend: This is the buddy you call to go ransack the town with on the weekends. Typically you have similar personal situations (single, married, etc..) and you like the same kind of places to let loose. This is the kind of friend you can go out with but you don't have to stay glued to each other's side every minute of the night. This friend knows how to make herself scarce when that cute guy comes over to talk but will also be there to rescue you from the creepy guy who won't leave you alone. You split tabs and share cabs and always have a good time doing it. You may or may not be bosom buddies outside of the scene but you know you can always count on her for a good night out on the town after a bad day at the office.

The Requisite Guy Friend: Everyone needs the one guy you love to hang out with but have no desire to sleep with. And despite what Harry says, men and women can be friends without having sex mess it up. This may be a guy you dated briefly where the chemistry wasn't there but the love was.. This is the guy who will be your stand in date for office parties, weddings and other functions where showing up alone isn't an option. He knows you well enough to know better than to want to date you. He's the guy you would love to fix up with one of your cute single girlfriends, but you don't because you don't want to have to share him. Sure, you've both made half hearted jokes about getting married if you're both still single at 40, but deep down, the reality is you will always love each other, but never be in love with each other.

The Fabulous Gay Friend: Not to stereotype, but as Carrie Bradshaw said, the fabulous gay man is the accessory every single woman over 30 must have. These are the men who can help you pick out just the right outfit and shoes for any occasion. Will provide a fantastic night of dancing with out having to worry that he's "reading more into it" and who can flirt shamelessly at the bartender with you but without the bullshit competitiveness. He'll tell you that, yes, those pants do make your ass look too big and that the guy you are crushing on is bi-sexual. He may not be flaming but he's definitely got the sparks workin.

Acquaintances: These are the sprinkles, the fudge syrup or the cherry on top of your life. For every one of those regular and devoted friendships, we have a dozen of people that we know only casually. They are the lunch dates, the "drop by their party" people, the folks you see out and about on a weekend but only at your regular hangouts. They are the outer circle of your life but no less valid to your support system. Everyone needs a handful of people you can call up for an occasional night out, lunch or shopping trip but without the hassles of a real relationship.. These folks are the "casual sex" of friendships. You call up when you get the urge but it's not a regular thing.

Yes, we have our best friend and our inner circle of rampagers but to fully integrate your support system and all that people have to offer, you need to expand your circle and make sure that our basic needs are being met. Sure you can have PB&J with the crusts cut off every day and not starve to death, but adding a steak dinner as well as a trip to Taco Bell to the roster will make for a much fuller and happier existence.