A little bit about me..

So one of the first things you have to know about me is that I am a very socially active person. I'll go nuts if I don't get out with my friends for a few drinks at least one night during the week and get out for a night of running wild on at least one weekend night.. I have a pack of my closest friends I refer to as The Usual Suspects.. We all hang out in the same places just about every weekend, primarily Irish pubs.. Being currently married, on the verge of a divorce (my second, go figure..) I tend to go run with my friends as a form of escapist behavior.. OK, that and I just love a good night out on the town.

You see, I'm the black sheep of my family.. I'm a devout career girl, making top dollar for my age and experience.. While I have 2 kids, I'm not one of those soccer mom types that lives to arrange play dates.. Make no mistake, I love my boys, and am a very responsible parent but I am a firm believer in needing time away from the family to run free and let loose.. There are tons of other sites out there where mom's can blather on and on about Timmy's first tooth and Caitlin's ballet lessons but my blatherings are more for the modern dysfunctional female.. There are more and more of us, single and divorced women with kids, who embrace a social culture that runs afoul of the norm.. We don't want to join the PTA.. We don't want to be Den Mothers... We love our kids but we just don't find fulfillment in letting our every waking moment revolve around them.. Does that make us bad parents? No.. Does it mean I love my kids any less than the stay at home mom who has no friends outside of her toddler playgroup? Hell no.. We're the women who take Bridget Jones a step further.

With one divorce pending and one under my belt, it probably goes without saying that I suck at marriage.. I'm just not good at the whole relationship thing.. I'm too independent and end up resenting that I have to tell someone where I'm going and get "permission" for things I want to do.. Perhaps that's selfish and immature, but at least I'm mature enough to admit my immaturity.. Most of my friends are single or divorced.. Perhaps I would have fared better in marriage had I befriended a few married couples but frankly they bore the shit out of me.. Almost every married couple I've ever met makes me want to vomit with their "we" mentality.. Siamese twins have more space between them than half the couples I know and tend to be way less freakish, in my opinion.

At the ripe old age of 32 I've realized that I'm never going to live up to my mother's expectations and am just coming to grips with it.. I haven’t told her about the impending divorce yet.. I want us to have a nice Christmas and I know that wouldn't be possible if she knew.. My mom has delusions of a Walton's Family Christmas when we're really more like the Griswalds. All she's ever wanted me to do was get married, have kids, go to church and die.. Hmmm what she got was a daughter with 2 divorces, a kid from each marriage who's flunking Methodist 101 and only makes it to church for Christmas and Easter.. But let's face it, the church prefers it that way. Less of a chance of lightning damage.

That's a little bit about me.. At the urging of my friend AJ, I'm determined to write a bit more regularly about things that interest me: Bad dating experiences my friends have had, societal observations, rambling incoherencies.. Maybe as I express myself more I can exorcise the demons of bitterness and hostility that I've been dealing with.. Who knows, maybe one day I'll be the little Miss Pollyanna Sunshine that my family always wanted me to be.
Maybe, but I don't fucking think so..