The Chuch of the Sisterhood

This article is dedicated to C, D, M, A, M2 and AJ... The Congregants of the Church of the Sisterhood.. My personal pet peeve is for friends to essentially disappear the minute they get involved in a relationship that lasts longer than 48 hours and 2 condom purchases. My own personal experiences with men (2 failed marriages and many doomed dating relationships) has taught me that you should never take your girlfriends for granted.. Every time my world has fallen apart, it has been my girlfriends who have dragged me back from the abyss.

Yes, I have a wonderful family but, as I stated in an earlier article, I am the black sheep and my motives are not completely comprehended by the people who share the blood in my veins.. My mother actually said I needed to forget the whole "being happy" thing and just do the right thing.. Nice.. Ergo, I don't turn to them too much with the emotional details of my life.. It's as if I am a different species than the rest of my family.. And I still am afraid they will turn on me like an episode of Wild Kingdom and devour their offspring.. I believe in the power of friends.. They are the ones who will carry you through the rough spots in your life.. My best friend C is probably one of the reasons I am still alive and sane and not in a padded room somewhere.. We are solely responsible for the increased stock price of Cingular Wireless.. She is the original 3AM Phone and Curb Buddy.. There is no power on the planet to revive your tattered spirits than a night out with the girls.. Martinis, non-stop talking and flirting with the bartenders.. Facials, glasses of wine and Bridgette Jones on DVD.. This is communion in the Church of the Sisterhood.. As a Deacon in the Church, it is particularly daunting to me when you have a beloved sister, a regular member of the congregation who suddenly meets Mr. Right (Now) and becomes all wrapped up in the glory and the newness of the relationship.. They'll apologize when they talk to you and gush about how in love they are.. Which, make no mistake, we are happy for you!! Happily Ever After is the goal we should all have and support for each other.. The true girlfriend will celebrate your relationship with you, 100%.. Just make sure you stick around to reciprocate and celebrate their singleness.. I actually held a "wake" for a former girlfriend in college who went from bar hopping wild child to a woman who couldn't go to the store for a carton of milk without calling her man to check in.

Ladies, this is not only in poor etiquette, but it shows bad common sense as well.. Let's say for the sake of argument that you do live happily ever after.. Do you think that man is never going to piss you off? Please.. The reality is that most of the excommunicants I know disappear for about 6-7 months and then suddenly want to dog-ear a night out with the girls.. Suddenly the bliss has been worn down to reality.. It's not that they aren't happy, they just realize (finally) that they cannot spend every waking moment up their significant others ass. Or sometimes, they aren't that happy.. They suddenly want someone to talk to.. Or the man who brought them such joy turns out to be a no-good, lying, sack of shit, just like the last 937 men they dated and they suddenly have a lot of Friday nights free.. Whatever.. Suddenly the girl who couldn't make it to dinner out for your birthday party wants to suddenly be by your side every night out.. And has the nerve to get pissed off when you've moved on and rely on another group of friends.. Remember girls, just because you're living happily ever after, it doesn't mean that the rest of your friends are.. Just as they were there for you, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, you'd better make damn sure you're still there for them.. God forbid the relationship isn't all you hoped it would be (Gee, because that never happens, now does it).. Luckily, I am blessed to have some wonderful best girlfriends, C, D, M and AJ have been my lifeline through the last tumultuous year.. All of them are or have been in a serious relationship during this time frame.. However, they are true members of the Sisterhood.. They all make time for celebrating the sacraments of friendship: the long chat sessions on the phone, and the emergency calls to worship at the pub.. In this lifetime, if you want true friends, true lifelong friends, you had better BE a lifelong friend as well.

Amen.